This post was written by Emily Powers of Teachable Mom-ents. Originally published on September 15, 2015.
When I first started homeschooling, my former preschool teaching days came flooding back just like second nature. I set up a preschool classroom and created engaging (labor intensive!) lesson plans. Day one came and I scheduled every moment. I was in my preschool teaching glory, and my star pupil was excelling.
It was picture perfect. But, I felt so much pressure and frustration. After a few months I found myself losing my passion for homeschooling. Then it hit me – I was treating homeschool like “School.” I thought back on the reasons my husband and I wanted to homeschool our children, and realized I wasn’t fulfilling any of them!
We wanted our children to be learning in the comfort and safety of our own home. But, I had created a school room in the farthest corner of our musty basement and we would barricade ourselves in there for hours each morning.
We wanted our children to learn at their pace and based on their interests. But, I was creating extravagant lesson plans that were really for me, and I was pressuring my daughter to perform to my level of expectation.
We wanted Christ to be the focus and center of our homeschool. Oh, we had Bible time. For two minutes each day while my daughter daydreamed, and I tried to make sure we got some Jesus-time in.
We wanted our life to be a vessel for learning. But, I was too focused on our weekly theme and agenda to stop and smell the flowers (weeds) my children had just found, or notice when they asked questions like, “Where does the rain come from?”
I was stuck on the institution of schooling and teaching. I forgot that the goal wasn’t an awesome school room and beautiful art work. The goal was experience and learning. Thus, I began to surrender the “school mindset” that I had trapped my family in.
Here are a few ways to let go of the school mentality…
1. Pray about it. You have heard it before – Let God lead your homeschool. But truly, it is the most important aspect of your entire journey. Ask God to help you, to give you wisdom, and to show you what will work best for your unique family.
2. Make your homeschool the very heart of your home. Whether literally or figuratively – you want your home to breathe wonder and learning. For us, we took this step literally and got rid of the basement school room. We cleared some cupboard space, and made the kitchen/dining room our homeschool haven. Most importantly – create a space where you and your children love to be!
3. Getting to the heart of the matter. The “school things” that I was doing were not bad on their own. And having a school room was not the problem. The problem came because of my heart and mindset. I was so focused on following a schedule, charting our progress, meeting standards, and looking like school – that I was missing the point of homeschooling.
4. Jesus is all over it. This is the best change that we made to our schooling! We have Bible time at breakfast each day and before bed each night. But more importantly, we incorporate God into our day as much as possible. And when we finally got around to learning where rain comes from – we learned that God created the clouds to produce rain – isn’t God amazing?!?
5. It is okay to be messy & relaxed. Let the kids make a mess in the living room creating a giant fort. Let them get dirty building bug villages. They are learning. They are problem-solving and building teamwork. When you feel overwhelmed or frustrated – take a break, cuddle up on the couch with their favorite book…or go on a field trip!
“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a heart.” ~William Butler Yeats
Latest posts by Emily Powers (see all)
- The Beatitudes of Homeschooling - April 9, 2018
- No Homeschool Schedule? No Problem! Find What Works for your Family! - January 12, 2018
- The Homeschooler’s Guide to Letting Go of the School Mentality - September 19, 2017
- When Your Homeschool Needs a Fresh Start + Free 2014 Goal Setting Chart - January 1, 2014
- Teaching a Giving Spirit - November 25, 2013
Yes! I’m an educator and I so struggle with this too. We’re gearing up for Kindergarten and I’m trying to be relaxed with my home educating.
I love this! I think all of us who were former teachers struggle with letting go of control and letting the learning happen. I know I certainly do 🙂
Thank you for confirming what has been stirring in me. Last year was our first year homeschooling. I felt defeated afterwards. I felt like I had let my kids down and wasted a year of their education. I believe God has been leading me to sites like yours and others to remind living life is learning. I am very excited for everyday now because we learn something new. 🙂
Oh Emily, this was beautiful. Learning at home is a process. We get to learn right along side them – especially as we start to let go of preconceived notions of that ‘school’ should look like.
I am still working on it, June! But I am amazed at how much more my children enjoy learning now! Blessings to you!
It is definitely a challenge to overcome – and I do not have it all figured out yet 🙂 Praise God he blesses my craziness!
Amanda, I remember feeling the same way! So thankful for Grace. I am glad that you shared your heart – keep following Holy Spirit Led Homeschooling, I know you will be encouraged!
Thanks, Heather! I had a feeling (or at least, I hoped!) that I was not the only one who struggle with this 🙂
I was just trying to explain these very things to a friend of mine the other day. Thank you for the beautiful way you have written this!
This came at the most perfect time. I have been feeling so inadequate lately in my educating abilities. I think I just found the problem…I am getting in my own way of God leading our home school. Thanks so much!
There were some good ideas here, not so sure about all the “jesus” stuff, and I wish there was someplace to find out more about homeschooling and less about people’s religion.
Ha! You got me! I am so guilty of this.
I was a preschool teacher too, and when I had my daughter I was creating the most elaborate detailed lesson plans for her and then I would find myself extremely disappointed that we accomplished the whole thing in five minutes. I realized that I was creating for a classroom of 20 kids, and it is just not necessary for one or two children. I am still struggling to figure out how to “do school” but it’s nice to know I am not alone!
Emily, I LOVED the part about “building bug villages” 🙂 My little ones have been building an ant home in our back yard. Sadly, we have more ants than normal this year as our grass has died (again). So, they decided to build an ant hill. They even took ants to the hill after building it! LOL I was getting a bit aggravated b/c they were getting dirty (and creating a home for the nasty things I’d like to get rid of) and not inside learning math or reading. They found a piece of roofing in the back yard too (they are sure it’s ours, I have no idea) and put it on the “roof” of the ant hill for them! LOL And honestly, this seems to be the time they have gotten along the best! LOL This comment makes it seem like our house is in terrible disrepair 😉 LOL Colorado dryness and winds can do that I guess.Thanks fro the reminder that life is learning.
I am not a former teacher but had started college and intended to finish my Bachelor’s in elementary education and worked as a Day Care provider since my sophomore year in high school teaching preschoolers. I am so glad I came across this.
I homeschooled both my boys for the first time in 2011/2012 school year 2nd and 4th grade. At the end of the year I wasn’t sure if or what my boys had learned and felt so defeated and inadequate to be their teacher. I did the same thing as far as the classroom set up goes. I set up an extra space we have that’s attached to my master bedroom as a school room with bookshelves full of homeschooling curriculum and educational posters hanging all over the walls. I set up our days to run like it would normally run in a regular brick and mortar school and by the end of the year we were all feeling frustrated, drained, and exhausted.
My husband and I decided to homeschool for much the same reasons as you, and what we wanted most was for our boys to have a Christ centered life and education, and somehow that became the last thing on our priority list as we got further and further into the school year. Most mornings, we found ourselves rushing through our Bible Studies or skipping them altogether, if I felt we had started our day too late or if for some reason we needed to get our day done earlier than normal. My boys and I all felt pressured to meet goals and expectations that I had set, and the methods and structure I thought would teach my boys a love for learning was doing the complete opposite. Needless to say this past school year they returned to public school for the second semester, but we have all decided to take another shot at homeschooling this coming school year.
I’m glad you posted this because it helped me realize the mistakes I had been making and helped me see myself and my homeschooling methods from a different perspective. I now realize that we need to take a new approach this go around in order to fulfill the original reasons we wanted to homeschool the boys in the first place.
I think a lot of times we place such overwhelming pressure on ourselves and such high expectations because, instead of following God’s plans for us, we try and please everyone around us and meet their expectations of what things should be like. I think it’s time for me to put my children’s education into His hands and allow Him to lead me to teach my children the things He would like me to teach them in the way He wants me to teach them.
Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank you so much for this post. This is also what God has been stirring in my heart. I just didn’t know how to put it into words. I’m not a former teacher, but I think our cultural idea of learning and school has been so ingrained in me that I struggle to overcome it! I love the freedom of molding our homeschooling around our goals.
Thank you for this post. We are just starting our homeschool journey but as a former teacher I struggle with homeschool looking like school. We decided to homeschool so our kids would have stability (we are a military family), to enjoy learning and be critical thinkers (something we believe schools have gotten away from). I’m so glad I stumbled on to you sight.
Wendy, there are secular homeschooling sites online. Just Google “secular homeschooling.” You are welcome here anytime though. 🙂
Oh yes, I realized that there were so many things I was doing that just weren’t necessary for one child – the truth is a lot of the stuff I did as a preschool teacher was to fill time. The beauty of homeschooling is that you can actually just focus on the learning (and fun!) without all that other stuff 🙂
I love it – sounds like the are using their minds exactly the way God intended! And don’t worry – my house is currently home to an army of ants 😉
Sounds like you are on the right track, Joelia! Admitting we are stuck in that mentality is half the battle – Jesus will take care of the rest. I will be praying for you and please pray for me – I am still figuring it out!
It is so often as Christians that we try to lead instead of letting God lead us – we shouldn’t be surprised that this would happen in our homeschool! It is a daily surrender – but He is faithful and will bless you and your family!
Thank you 🙂 I am glad that you found this!
You are right, Casey! We have been so “institutionalized” – it is hard to break out of that. Blessings to you on your journey!
I am so glad you found us, Amy. I know you will continue to be encouraged here!
I am glad that you found the post helpful and hope that you will continue to follow this site – there is a lot of great stuff here 🙂
You know the funniest thing I’ve experienced is when I do it the school room way…everyone around me says how wonderful it is. When I realized the heart of our homeschool journey and how to let go and enjoy the process of teaching through living then came the criticisms….where is your organization, how do you measure progress? But my daughters ARE learning and I am learning to be confident in my assignment from God! So much better this way! Thank you for your inspiration and validation!
This is all so true! I think one of the hardest things about homeschooling is finding the confidence to go against the traditional school grain. In our efforts to do a good job we sometimes do the opposite of what we set out to do. Thanks for providing the encouragement we all need to find our own way to homeschool – even when that looks very different from what everyone else is doing!
Excellent post, Emily! This is exactly what I needed as I plan for how our next school year is going to look. Jesus all over everything is exactly what I am striving for!
Great article! I hope people will listen. I’m sure that the ol’ school mentality is what causes most home schools to ‘fail’. I think about everyone starts out this way but for me having a first child with Asperger’s, which we did not realize until last year at the age of 26!, I either had to admit that God hadn’t REALLY CALLED me to disciple my children through out the day or I had to LET GO of my pride and expectations. It was the BEST LESSON I learned! Today #1 child is studying with the Institute for Creation Science, and she couldn’t even read until she was 9! #2 is pursuing a Mathmatics degree (and it has NOTHING AT ALL LITERALLY to do with ANYTHING that I taught him, and I am NOT bragging), #3 my ADHD Dislexic at 17 just paid for his own vehicle+fees+insurance+ because he has had a part time job at the local university for 2 years. Homeschooling is GREAT for work-study! and #4 well, Grandma is going to help her hone her musical God given gifts. Certainly children do these things in public school but they don’t have the FAMILY time and one thing that NO BODY is learning today is what to do with EXTRA (i.e. BORING) time because they don’t HAVE ANY. I think that with all the COMMANDS by God to WAIT and all the stories about families in the Bible that we ought to be learning to sit, converse, and fill idol time with quiet time too. Education should be about all of us discovering God and what a way to watch GOD DO IT!
Emily, I will definitely keep you in my prayers as well!
My expereince was very similar to yours. It was so encouraging to read. The more I trust in God for the schooling, and relaxing my plans and schedules and checklists, the more amazing it becomes. And the way educational moments happen unexpectedly is just wonderful. Thanks!
Wow, Rhonda. You are an inspiration to those of us at the beginning of our homeschooling journey! Thank you for sharing 🙂
That is so true, Linette! Many people are not comfortable with homeschooling in general – but definitely not if you homeschool outside of the “school box” 🙂
God bless you, Vicki, as you find your way – following His leading 🙂
Thank you, Kasey! I have to remind myself sometimes to take my own advice 🙂
Isn’t it awesome how God works when we let go of control?!? Thank you for sharing.
Emily – this post is A-Mazing! Loved every bit of it and can relate to EVERYTHING you wrote. I’m still a work in progress and this post was a great and much needed reminder for me!
Thank you for this encouragement. I do have a question about this. Our family is planning to move overseas in (hopefully) the not too distant future. Our plan at this point is to put them in school wherever we go for learning language and culture, while supplementing at home. Because of this I have done a little more of the “School” room set up (though not to the extent mentioned above). How do you recommend finding that balance between teaching this is the time we sit and listen and this is the time we play to learn? Any advice in this would be appreciated.
Thanks, Sarah! God is still working on me for sure 🙂
Children are usually very capable of compartmentalizing, but it is somewhat dependent on each individual child. I would encourage you to really study your children and figure out their learning styles. Pray about it. Does your child do well in a traditional school setting, or do they seem to struggle with “sit and listen” time? The beauty of homeschooling is being able to cater to your child’s specific learning style and needs. Depending on where you will be living, I would be careful about placing them in school. There are certainly other ways that you can introduce the language and culture – so my best advice would be to really make it a matter of prayer and seeking Godly wisdom.
So true. I went through this myself. I was a preschool teacher for 5 years, and a kindergarten teacher for 1 year. I tried so hard at first to make school “school” My daughter got frustrated, I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t manage her school and her little siblings. It dawned on me about halfway through our school year that I was going far away from why we chose homeschooling to begin with. We started doing more, being more, and making our primary focus on Jesus and character building. I love my homeschool, and every so often I have to remind myself of the fact that it is HOME school. 🙂
I came across your website, I am sure, not by accident. Lord knows I’ve been in need of help. I’ve cried out to him for help. Shortly after reading thru ur site, I was reminded of our reason for choosing to homeschool. I feel like I’ve missed that mark for the past 5 years. Now, I have a daughter in 6th grade, a son in 1st and a son in Kinder4. I know we want school to be fun. To enjoy learning. But, I also know they need to learn Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. Problem is how do I spread myself out between the three to teach the different levels? We started day after Labor Day and still struggle. Yesterday we learned about God’s peace. Being still. It was great. But no other lessons/curriculum. My fear is that days would turn into weeks and turn into years and they won’t be equipped for life. Help please!!!
Hi Lynette. I have younger children (my oldest is first grade), but I just wanted to encourage you that you are on the right path! Remember the goal is leading the hearts of your children to Jesus! It is okay if that is the primary focus of your homeschool – in fact, that is wonderful! I am continually amazed at how much my children are learning just by experiencing life. Yes, the academic lessons are important, but if your children know and love Jesus and have been led by your example how to follow and serve Him – they will be more equipped for this life than most of their peers! Have you joined our facebook community yet? –>>(https://www.facebook.com/HolySpiritledhomeschooling). You will find a lot of encouragement and support there. You are not alone in this journey!
I’ve been feeling inadequate also, especially since I haven’t had much college. My 11 yr old and 14 yr old can figure things out faster than I. Are they getting a good education? I’m not so sure of anything. There are so many bad things going on in public schools not to mention what they are being taught, public school is NOT an option.
This is a Christian site. We post our concerns as well as our beliefs. That is called freedom of speech.
I love this site, Emily!!! Thank you for making it. It is so encouraging!!!! God is good all the time!!!! <3