This post was written by Stef Layton of Educating Laytons
This is a post by Stef Layton of Educating Laytons.
Another bedtime. I made it. Hugh sigh of relief. Another day and miraculously we made it. I have no idea how, but I’m just thankful it’s done. It’s over. After one more request for a glass of water and this day is in the bag!
It’s been over 10 years and I’ve been able to keep up this “mother” act. They have no idea their mother is a fake. When I was supposed to be carrying that egg around for Home Economics I was skipping school for the beach. I never made that batch of cookies from scratch so I’m hoping my children think the best muffins are made from a box. (Betty Crocker, I love you).
I’m sure they’ll find me out soon because we play this game of house, but instead I feel like we’re reenacting the Titanic and I am sinking. Can’t they see the panic before lunch? The gasping for breath every afternoon?
They don’t know I’m failing at motherhood.
The list of all the areas where I’m failing rattles off in my head. Why can’t I keep their toenails clean? Why can’t I get them to flush the toilet? Why am I washing winter clothes in the summer? Why can’t I get them to eat vegetables? Why can’t I find matching shoes? Why can’t I help them keep their rooms clean?
My heart desires to be a June Cleaver for these boys, but in my frustration and sinking, I wrestle back the Mommy Dearest in me. Rather than wire hangers I want to cry, “What are Lego pieces doing on the floor when I told you no Lego pieces on the floor, ever!”
Are you there with me on the floor in a mess of tears and frustration? Do you know the sinking feeling?
Do you feel like you’re failing at motherhood?
Some nights I’m overcome with confusion, “God, will I ever get this right?” And there, with my long list of shortcomings and character flaws, God points something out to me. He wants you to see it too! Ready?
They don’t need June Cleaver.
If we were perfect June Cleavers they might not see the need for perfect Jesus. They love me. I’m the one who God has given them. He trusts me with these little hearts. He is perfecting me while I show them the need for a Savior, the living out of forgiveness and grace.
My boys get to experience the pounding out of self and a heart hungry for change. They see afternoon prayers on display, heartfelt worship, and an ongoing list of gratitude.
June Cleaver could never offer that to your kids, but you can!
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
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