Today on Big Family Friday we’re having a little fun with something that I like to call community question. The Lord has really blessed our Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling fellowship online; I’m thankful for His mighty hand bringing mommas encouragement through our time together. One of these neat blessings has been seen is in our Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling facebook community. Reading friends post questions on the wall and I schedule them to repost throughout the day. Then wonderful homeschooling moms jump in to help, inspire, and equip one another in this beautiful (albeit messy ;)) homeschool journey. If you haven’t joined us yet on Facebook, you really should. I use this as just another example of how Jesus is using the internet for His glory!
I also know that I have readers who are not on Facebook, and that’s fine. One of my best friends in the whole wide world has still not taken the plunge. She’s holding off for as long as she can. So that’s why I like to bring some of the great questions that I receive here to the blog. This way everyone can interact, and team up to help another mother. (Please know that I do get to every question that is posted and emailed. I’m a little slow sometimes. Thank you for your grace.)
Today’s question comes from a mother on Facebook:
“My daughter age 3 told me yesterday that she wants to go to school. I explained to her that we would be doing school at home (in a kid way of course). And she was ok with that. But I know she hears and sees her cousin get on the bus and wonders about it. How did you explain to your children that you were homeschooling them?”
I will offer our story on this. The Lord made it clear to my husband and I, when our only child was barely two, that public school was not an option for our family; we would do this radical thing called homeschooling. It was divine appointment at the time that we went to a very pro-homeschool church (sadly, hard to find). The Lord continually put homeschooling families in front of us, which is what we needed.
I remember when Jadin asked for the first time where that big yellow bus was going, and if he could ride on it too. I knew that I had to start telling him more about what our family was doing. So that’s what we did. As a family we started talking often about how wonderful it was that Jadin would get to stay home everyday with his mommy. We talked up all the fun we would have and the adventures we would take. Most importantly, we talked about how Jesus told mommy and daddy to teach our children and learn together.
As a family we would go back out into the world together and shine our lights for Jesus.
We had situations where family members openly opposed our choice to homeschool; they would try to undermine our authority as parents. Some would try to talk up public school to our child, as if we weren’t in the room. Quickly my husband saw that it was his responsibility to let those people know that as head of our household this is our choice. He was very clear that no one was to try to go around our leadership of our children. Sometimes when we were in situations where some would not relent, my husband would make sure that we took a break from those visits for a season until proper respect was shown. This was always done in truth and love. Now, after living the homeschooling lifestyle for 10 years, many of those same naysayers see that “the proof is in the pudding” with our children; many now say that homeschooling was a wise choice.
So that was my turn to tell you how we told our child about homeschooling. I even threw in a little extra on handling family opposition, because I know many of us face that as we start to walk this path. Now it’s your turn! And, don’t forget to link-up for Big Family Friday! Please be sure to come back over the weekend to discover encouraging posts from fellow Christian bloggers.
Give this momma your experience and wisdom on how you told your child about homeschooling. Leave your tips and thoughts in the comments below.
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Thanks for the great topic! I’m going through the same thing with my almost-5-year old. We’re starting this year, but he keeps talking about wanting to go to “real school” like his cousin James. We’ve definitely talked it up and tried to explain it as well as we can, but there are still moments.
The worst part is that it then becomes fodder for the naysayers. Well-meaning family look at me with a smug, know-it-all type look and say, “See? He wants to go to school.” As if that should settle it. I always think to myself, “he’d probably like to eat candy for breakfast, too…but we don’t let him do that either.”
(not that public school is equivalent to candy for breakfast, but as parents we often do things that we feel are best for our children when it’s not necessarily what they (think) they want at the time).
Excellent post, Jamerrill. It’s been so long, I can’t remember how we handled the child’s questioning, but I do remember the family thinking we were crazy. And like you say, if you bide your time, the proof is in the puddin’.
I am going through the exact same thing with my 4 year old. We are starting Pre-K homeschool this month and she has 2 cousins that are her age that are going to a private school. She also has two friends that I have been babysitting for the last 3 years that are starting Pre-K this year. My daughter keeps asking me when she can start school. I tell her that she gets to stay home and do school with mommy but I don’t really think she gets it because she normally shouts “yay” and starts jumping up and down. lol. It is so good to hear the encouragement of all you other moms who have been there and done that! I pray for the day that the “proof is in the pudding” and the fruit begins to show!!! At this point every time our daughter throws a huge tantrum I feel like most of our family is nodding in agreement that a little “schooling” would fix those issues. I too am very thankful for the community of homeschoolers I have found online for encouragement!!!
Thanks for this post. My son’s friends started going to school last year, and he’s been saying he wants to go to school on the bus with them. I’ve tried explaining how different families decide what is best for them, and we decided to do school at home, but he still wants to go on the bus. I know it will take him some time to realize why we homeschool, but it’s nice to read some advice about how to handle the questions!
My in-laws were terribly opposed to homeschooling in the beginning and “talked up” public school all the time to the kids. I always reminded our kids that in public school they would be away from family all day, would not get to have hands on science projects almost every day, would not get to go on as many field trips and would not have the option to do a lot of the spur of the moment hands on learning/fun days that we do now. As my oldest is now 11 she had begun to see a lot of the “pros” to homeschooling when chatting with her cousins in public school.
It is hard when they are young but they will see it when they get older.
I’m a homeschooling grad, and I’m going to homeschool our children (currently 3yo and 18mos). We live two blocks from an elementary school, and my 3yo loves seeing the buses–actually, he loves anything with wheels. We’ve also used the school’s playground occasionally. Meanwhile, I’ve started “doing preschool” with him.
He desperately wants to ride on a bus, especially a yellow one full of kids. My plan, at some point, is that we’ll use the county bus system to go to the park some time. And we might use the bus system for local field trips as well. That might not be useful for other kids, but my son’s interest lies in the bus itself–not where it goes.
When the question does eventually come up of why he doesn’t go to school, we’ll be honest with him (albeit age appropriate). We will also teach him to pray for children whose parents do not feel they are able (for whatever reason) to educate their children themselves.
I just started homeschooling my daughter and she is in 6th grade. She had been in the public school system up to this point. My husband and I felt like this was the best choice for her. I was concerned about what she was learning and also security isssues at the middle school she would be going to. At first she was against it. She was worried she wouldn’t have any friends anymore and I told her she would make new friends with us joining a homeschool group. Also she does have several friends who are homeschooled at our church. Her older sisters are in high school and I told her to look at the positives of how she is done with her school day much earlier than her sisters. It’s been a difficult transition but I know it is the right thing to do.
I was just honest with my son when he asked why we would do school at home. I told him that Mommy and Daddy believe this is the best way for him to learn the things God wants him to learn. While the teachers at a public school mean well, they do not all know and love God and they won’t teach him things from the Bible, which is the most important Book in the whole world. Thankfully, pretty much every kid in our whole church is homeschooled, so it’s normal to him anyway.
We also have a 3yr old and 18 month who we are homeschooling! Sometimes I get a bit discouraged thinking we are the only ones schooling just little ones, but I’m glad to know others are doing the same thing!!
Thank you for bringing this topic up! Our family also felt led to homeschool, but part of our transition included my teaching Kindergarten in a Christian school, and all of the kids went with me into the classroom (ages 5, 3, and infant.)My daughter still asks why we do school at home instead, and speaks of missing her old school, but we talk it up, and usually she cheerfully agrees and goes on her merry way. That being said, I appreciate the segue into family opposition. We face this too, and your story sounds sadly all too familiar. It is so frustrating, this season, esp. when we had picked an option that worked for them last year. Christian school was a fine compromise. What they don’t realize is while it is a step up from public school, for our family, homeschooling is the best option, and we feel led to follow God’s will and teach at home. I want to write a post on family opposition, but I constantly fight myself over it, knowing some family members will see it. Part of me thinks a constant proper addressing of that will be a good thing, and another part of me thinks it will be stirring the soup a bit too much. Currently we face daily, weekly, constant disapproval. So discouraging. But the blessing is that while one side of the family feels that way, most of society does not (ladies in the supermarket have pulled me aside to praise this choice, and other church members have said encouraging things about it as well.) and the other side of our family (mine, I was homeschooled K-12, with one year in school.) is very supportive and helpful.
Jamerrill, I had to smile when you talked about your pro-homeschooling church. We probably wouldn’t have had the courage if our church family didn’t have so many experienced homeschool families. I totally believe God sent us there for just that purpose! LOVE hearing your story!!
Angela, the pro homeschooling church was a true ‘God-send.’ We received so much encouragement at that time. I agree, God sent us there for that purpose. So glad that you had a similar experience. 😉
Right now, we’re pretty on-again-off-again about preschool stuff. My older boy is very energetic and would much rather play with his toy cars. So a lot of what I do with him is work with him to get comfortable for seat work. I know that’s not the only way to teach, but it is necessary to know how to learn that way–and you just can’t get around it with some topics. Besides, it doubles for teaching him to SIT AT THE DINNER TABLE. Anyway, we don’t “do school” everyday, mostly because I want it to be something he thinks of as enjoyable rather than forced.
We also plan to homeschool year-round with our schedule tied to our religious calendar. I’d love to know about what you are doing! Drop me a line over at my blog (linked in my name).
Hi Rachel,
Your boy is only 3 years old. I think small children learn trough playing. For example: you can try to explain something about money and shopping at the dinner table. But when you build a ‘shop’ with him, where he can play that he’s going shopping and has to pay money etc. I think he’ll will learn much more. This goes for all children, but especially for the littles ones, they often learn from imitating ‘the real world’. Just what you said yourself, you want school to be something he thinks of as enjoyable rather than forced. What worked in my classroom very well: f.e. “make a bag you can use while shopping”. Than the children were very concentrated and enthousiastic because there was a link between ‘deskwork’ and playing. Maybe you can start with just a few minutes and than build it up, compliment him when he did the task. I also suggest you do a varaiety of short and different ‘lessons’ rather than long alike ones. When your son is very energetic just jump/dance/sing a little and than continue. After all he’s still a todler… the children in my classroom were 4/5/6 years old… They could do a puzzle/crafts sitting on their chair, so just to encourage you, your son will learn it in time! I love the idea of home schooling. Your son does’nt have to meisure up with other children but can have his own tempo and his own learning style. May God bless your husband and you in raising your children for Him! He will guide you in how to home school your kids, cling to Him!
Thank you for your encouragement Marie-Louise!
The kind of play learning you describe is how he spends most of his day (regardless of whether I’m directing it). I was planning on waiting another year or two to do anything else, but what we’re doing now was led by his own curiosity and learning ability.
I’m really looking forward to dancing and singing with him, as well as doing read-aloud time. he just discovered dancing today, and he learned Twinkle, Twinkle last week–otherwise, music really annoys him! He also can’t stand it when we read aloud to him, except for a very small selection of stories. DH and I are also working on teaching him how to color–it’s not building, so he doesn’t see the point 🙂
Basically, I’m going off what my parents did with me, and improvising when that model doesn’t work.
This is such an applicable topic for me. I am watching a 4 year old right now and we take him to 4K every day and my 5 year old asked why he wasn’t going to school. I told him that we school at home and talked about how well he was doing and how proud I was of his progress. This turns into me hearing my 5 year old telling people that he doesn’t go to school because he is so smart, he doesn’t need to. That was not exactly the message I wanted to get through, but I am glad that he was confident in his response to being questioned about our schooling choice. My almost 3 year old really wants to go to school too, so I think this discussion will be ongoing in our house. I am hoping when our 3rd one + gets to school age it will be easier to explain. Thanks everyone for sharing, I am glad to know that we aren’t the only ones that have to have these discussions.