How to Homeschool
We tackle how to homeschool-type questions through out the day in the Free Homeschool Deals Facebook community. These questions are a great way for readers to help one another and encourage homeschool families. Increasingly FHD reading friends are asking me to go back and find popular questions for them to reference for their households and homeschools. As a new feature on FHD I’m showcasing these thought provoking questions for further discussion. If you have a homeschool question that you’d like featured just send me a message on the FHD Facebook page or post it on the FHD Facebook wall.
Leave your thoughts and insight in the comments!
Reader Question (Encouragement needed!):: OK, I need some help. I just lost it “AGAIN” with my 8 year old son. He is giving me such a hassle about getting ANY school work done. Everytime I try to teach a concept he argues with me about knowing it better than I do which is extremely frustrating. He is full of energy so we do many breaks but if I’m not giving him 100% of my attention he doesn’t do any work (runs to his room to avoid it) or he gets in my face to distract me from working with his older sister. This makes us all crazy so much that I’m thinking this homeschool stuff is not a good idea for us.
Kelly said: “That’s my son, too. We have a VERY structured school time. (He is 8, also.) When time comes for him to do a paper, he has a time limit. If the paper is not completed in the given time, the paper goes into a Saturday School folder and he has to account to Dad for every paper that isn’t completed for the day. Its working for us. My son does NOT want Saturday School.”
Phyllis said: “If one of mine tells me they know it better, then I have them teach me the lesson! Have him explain it to you, and you ask a bunch of questions!”
Deb said: “students who do this…. The first thing I assess is if the information is too easy or too challenging for the student… Avoidance can show up as a result of either… Otherwise, I also try to just accept it and keep moving… Like when he says “I know more than you do” I might say “great! Then maybe I’ll learn something too!” …Diffused… Not sure if this applies to your situation or not… Just one thought…”
Anne said: “We have been homeschooling for about 10 years, with a 15 and a 7 year old. We all have those kinds of days! I don’t remember where I heard this advice, but I read something several years ago that was a response to someone saying that she didn’t think she could homeschool because of her child’s attitude toward her and lack of obedience. The easy solution was to send her child to school so that she would not have to deal with her child’s attitude. The response was that this would only mask the problem, not solve it, and that character development was very much a part of homeschooling. From your comment, it seems that your son needs to learn to work independently, receive instruction, and entertain himself when you are focused on your daughter. This may go against the grain, but character development should probably take precedence over academics right now. Focus on those qualities you want him to develop, such as not arguing with you. Have some sort of consequence for when he does it, but also reward him when he behaves correctly. If he doesn’t finish his reading or math or history, that’s okay, he’ll get to it eventually. When the behavior issues are solved, then focusing on academics is easier. Also, evaluating whether the curriculum you are using fits his learning style may help. Is it too challenging, or not challenging enough? Does he like hands-on activities (like my 7-ry-old), or will he spend all day reading (like my 15-yr-old)? Would a video or computer-based curriculum hold his attention better? Is there a way to combine subjects so that you are working with both children together so that he is getting some of your attention? Could he possibly have food allergies/sensitivities that affect his behavior? These are just questions thrown out to get you to think outside the box for solutions. You know your children best, and you know what they need.”
Laura said: “Oh my word, for anyone who has a child like that it is a respect and parenting issue. Children can vocalize, hey I don’t like this as opposed to being disrespectful. Time to bone up on your discipline. No yelling or counting, make the rules, write them down and when he disobeys he gets a consequence. It doesn’t have to be a spanking either, writing sentences, no tv and wii, push ups or walking stairs are all things we use in our house for consequences. When the consequence isn’t hard enough the child isn’t going to understand it. It’s like an episode of supernanny at first. The kids will test you all the time but once they understand the rules and that you won’t cave in on the consequences the change is amazing.”
Jenn said: “I have one very much like this, you can homeschool him! In fact, you are the BEST one to do this job! What you need is to change your perspective and methodology. He is not a ‘school’ at home person obviously. He learns differently. Try looking into unschooling or Charlotte Mason. Queen homeschool has great books for short lessons, easy concepts and great for short attention spans. For my son who sounds very similar (only he is 10) we use their manners copywork, language lessons, life of fred math and lots of learning about whatever he is interested in that day.”
Kristian said: “Have you thought of throwing out the text books and going completely to unit studies. You can get ones in his interest area. For ex airplanes… We did one where it studied the history of aviation, we found a lit book that was a story about a kid whose dad was a WWII fighter pilot, we added a hands on book on paper airplanes that looked the different types of airplanes and then we tested each design to figure out which flew best. Then at the end, we visited the aviation museum. They had great vets who took time to talk to the kids. They even had the same fighter plane that was in the lit book. Oh and for Geography we plotted the setting of the lit book and the different locations of things that happened during the book. It works really well for my kids when we get in a funk to throw the books out for a while and do a unit study.”
Karen said: “This may sound strange but we recently put my 7 year old son on the Feingold diet (no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives) for many of those same problems and life is so much better now. He’s not as defiant or argumentative any more. Diet really matters! Check out their website.”
Free Homeschool Deals 🙂 said: “I always say on days like this to STOP, SNUGGLE, and READ!”
Lisa said: “I’m having pretty much the same issue with my almost-8yo. We’ve been pretty much “unschooling” (tho I hate that term) up til now, but I’ve been trying to slowly incorporate a little bit of pen/paper work. It’s like pulling teeth. You’d think it was the end of the world. Guess I don’t have a point, beyond “you’re not alone”. Stick with it. I have faith you’ll (and I, for that matter) find a groove that works. Good luck.”
Wendy said: “Our jobs as homeschooling moms is not to recreate school. There are a lot of variables that aren’t really mentioned but there are several good comments above. If he’s a kinesthetic learner sitting down will be torture & counterproductive. My husband makes 6 figures a year, has a GED & missed most of high school & never finished college. Why? Because he really did know it all already or could learn what he needed to know on his own. Take a breather, step outside the box & reevaluate. Don’t take it personally. One day at a time with the 10 year view in mind.”
Lindsay said: “Easy peasy all in one homeschool curriculum is FREE, simple and to the point. It has SAVED me from exactly what ur dealing with. My 9 1/2 yr old son LOVES it. It been a HUGE blessing!!!!!”
This question was very popular and had over 68 answers. Find more on the Free Homeschool Deals Facebook page!
Leave your thoughts and insight in the comments!
Latest posts by Free Homeschool Deals (see all)
- Saxon Math 3 Resources - March 31, 2025
- Wonderings eZine - February 27, 2025
- All About Me Coloring Page Bundle - February 24, 2025
- FREE Valentine’s Day Printables, STEM Activities, & Experiments! - February 4, 2025
- Top 10 STEM/STEAM Activities for the Winter Months! - December 2, 2024
We struggle with this. First thing I always remember is everyone has rough days. My kids (6,5) seem to go in spurts, they are amazing with worksheets (pen/paper stuff) and we can get to other stuff quickly and other days it’s a slog. I lay off when they struggle. The learning will happen. A friend of mine told me she has read that boys seem to learn in spurts like they grow. Sometimes they are right there with you and other days they just need more physical action and less seat time. That really helped me to relax and search for creative ways. We can fit school into a much shorter time or in around lots of other things. Like throwing a baseball back and forth to quiz facts. Then he has time to himself. Then we do something all of us.
We use a reward chart for particularly monotonous seeming tasks like practicing music. Fill up all the squares with stickers and they get a prize at the end of the month for their hard work.
I will sometimes keep a mason jar close and drop magnetic bingo chips (or lego squares) in every time I see the child doing hard work. They hear it clink and know you are noticing, even if you are in the kitchen with another child or not giving direct attention. Then you can count it and pick it up with the magnetic wand and be sure to point out how much hard work they did and how great they are getting at whatever they were working on because every time they work hard they get better.
Your son may need some one on one attention or time with other kids too. We try to take just one of our kids out with us or spend just mama time or just papa time every other week or so. We also have built in to our schedule daytime activities with other homeschool kids. We do Community Bible Study, Co-op, once a month day at the gymnastics center, swim lessons. Through co-op many of us moms with young kids are feeling this way and we are working to add more organized field trips and playdates. Grandma does reading/spelling/handwriting/games with just my son twice a month for two hours, which gives me a little one-on-one time with my daughter (and baby in tow).
We have a five minute time out corner where they can go with a timer set to relax, work on their attitude, color, read, rest, be alone. Sometimes I just send them outside to run around the house 3 times or go on a backyard scavenger hunt.
This may seem overwhelming. We developed it over time. We have a schedule chart with time blocks on the side (much like a planner) and velcro and a huge list of things they do in a day. At the beginning of the day I put what they need to do in a box, what we have to go out to do/be at, and they choose what they want to do. Then they can help set the schedule. My older child loves this. Having time built in to play with play-dough or pretend super heroes after a difficult task gives them something to look forward to. Having the time set aside for 15 minutes or so helps them not let play time take over everything and allows you to get back to work. We started this just by writing it down, but it worked so well, we made a chart. It’s similar to PEC charts.
They also have their own folders in which I try to put a few extra worksheets for busy days. They know they at least need to open up their folders and get going on those on days when I can’t get to the table right away because of baby or whatever. Having a back up something helps sometimes.
We try to stay super positive! We do talk about choices alot and natural consequences for our actions good or bad. And I try to point out when they have a choice to change their attitude or behavior and encourage them to work so they will grow smarter/stronger/better at things. We also ask them about what we might do to help them when they start in during a non-confrontational moment.
I started out homeschooling getting very frustrated and yelling, which made everyone negative about sitting down to do work and actually made learning harder for my kids. The things they struggled with the most were the things I got frustrated with.
I love so many of these comments. They are really helpful. We all have difficult days. Diet can be big. For us a big breakfast is necessary and good protein with a snack scheduled so they don’t just graze all morning and get nothing done. And doing history, science, art, bible together, with different expectations for writing, etc. is more fun!
Hope this encourages you and sparks some ideas!
It seems like this is a respect issue. See this as an opportunity to help him talk kindly to you — and remind him that God will bless those who honor their parents (Ephesians 6:1-4). Also, have you tried the workbox system? This might help him to be more independant and visually see what he has left, what he can do himself and what he needs help from you with. See Confessions of a Homeschooler’s video on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0JeGFx6FtM
One person commented that the Feingold Diet helped her child. We also do the Feingold Diet. Diet does affect behavior, no question about it. Discipline is also important but cleaning up the diet helps children respond to loving discipline the way they ought to. I blog about the Feingold Diet at http://www.allnaturalmomof4.com. My 4 year old went from showing classic signs of ADHD according to his preschool teacher, to showing NO signs of ADHD according to his kindergarten teacher (after we started the diet).
I wholly agree with those who said this is a respect/discipline issue. I think Anne (in the original post) totally nailed it with her suggestions!
I forgot to mention Laura, also in the original post. I think the combo of Anne & Laura’s advice might be what I need to get my 13 year old on track!