I love the Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling Facebook community. If you are on Facebook, and you haven’t joined, you should. 🙂 There are over 8,000 homeschooling families who make the page great. One of my favorite aspects of the community are the questions and conversations that spark. A common occurrence is a homeschooling mom posting a question and in return she’ll receive anywhere from 40-100 answers! I want to carry some of that wonderful helpfulness here onto the blog; especially for readers who don’t use Facebook.
This inspired my new Community Question special feature! As long as I receive questions via email, smoke signal, fax machine, or Facebook, I will answer a 1-3 of those here on Holy Spirit-led Homeschooling in a blog post each week. Then, you’ll have the opportunity to share your thoughts and tips in the comments of the post and/or in the Facebook community.
Today lets tackle one question; I know this is a topic that all homeschoolers face at some point in their journey:
T.B. asked ~
“How do you deal with extreme family opposition and the implication that you are not smart enough to teach your own children? I am a stay at home mom and I have family who are constantly encouraging my 4-year-old to ask when she can go to school.”
Oooo, boy – we’ve been there. We have faced extreme family opposition; and I’ve faced criticism that I’m not smart enough to teach my children. Let me break this question down a little further.
Family Opposition of Homeschool
It hurts. You want so bad for everyone in your family to see that homeschooling is a beautiful gift. Instead, you’re met with blank stares, or rude comments, about your well thought and prayed out choice. Honestly, after homeschooling almost a decade we still have some family members who we’ve realized may never fully accept our homeschool life. Like any kind of opposition we recognize that this is from the enemy. We all go through seasons of opposition, especially when we are obeying the Lord.
- Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.” This is my power verse in many situations. It works just fine to claim and cling to when you’re meeting opposition from family too.
- I wrote two articles on Overcoming Judgments of Homeschooling and When Judgments Come
- Focus on the positive voices. Focus on those who do support your journey. Thank the family and friends who stand beside you. As long as my husband and I are in agreement, and we’re following the Lord, I have to focus on those positives.
Am I Smart Enough to Homeschool My Children
I know moms with only their G.E.D’s who are successfully homeschooling their children. I also know mothers who are highly educated by the world’s standards and are also doing an outstanding job home educating their children. I feel with a heart for the Lord, and basic life experience, any mother can homeschool their child with flying colors. I feel that I’m learning right along with my children. It’s not a matter of me teaching them everything they need to know. My job is to teach them about Jesus and to teach them how to learn. I mean, really – did you graduate high school knowing it all? Most of us didn’t. I’ve learned most things as an adult. I’m sure I’ll fill in my own personal gaps while learning along side my children. Homeschool moms have the gift of receiving an education twice!
The Myth of Teacher Qualifications is an article written by Chris Klicka, former Senior Counsel for HSLDA. This article sites several examples in reference to the myth of needing a teaching license to be an effective teacher (nothing against my Christian teacher friends out there – we’re encouraging moms that they can do their God-given jobs, without the teacher’s license).
A statement from the article, “Dr. Peavey concluded his testimony with practical examples of excellent student achievement results by students who were being taught by their parents, most without degrees or certificates. He explained that many studies demonstrate that homeschooled children “commonly score a year or more above their peers in regular schools on standard measures of achievement.”5 Remember, that was even considering homeschooling parents without degrees.
No matter what family opposition you face, the Lord picked YOU to be the mother of your children. You are anointed to be their teacher. It is you who the Lord pre-ordained to guide these sweet souls to Him. Neither earthly qualification, nor approval of man, will validate or trump God’s purpose for your homeschool; which is to touch and change the world for His glory.
Now it’s your turn to join in and encourage this homeschool mom. Answer in the comments or on Facebook.
- How do you handle opposition from family over your homeschool?
- Have you had to deal with being told or feeling that you’re not smart enough to teach your children?
- What are some ways the Lord has led you through these situations?
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God is so good!!! I have recently decided to homeschool – I shared my desire with my in-laws this weekend and got to hear all about their opinions and how they were 110% against homeschooling (they are also not believers) at first I felt myself getting mad and then I thought – just listen to them, take note of their concerns (some my be valid and things I hadn’t thought of) then acknowlegde what they said and DO NOT get into a confrontation about it. I know this is just the beginning for me but how awesome is it that this is your post right after my first encounter – God is a PERSONAL God!!! Thanks so much for all you do Jamerril!!!
My family has been against our decision to homeschool for 8 years. My oldest will be my first homeschool graduate this month. We willl continue to do what the Lord has put on our hearts. My advice to anyone homeschooling or considering it is, to pray! The Lord will equip you with al you need to teach your children, even with family opposition.
While my grandmother clearly thinks I am insane, I haven’t gotten a lot of flack from any of my family. A few hesitant words at the beginning, and maybe a raised eyebrow here and there. I think the fact that I’m confident in what I’m doing puts to rest a lot of potential arguments. Maybe they think I’m crazy or wrong, but they recognize that I’m making my own mind up about this, and I’m not going to be pushed around. Sometimes it is our own (apparent) weakness of conviction that sets people off. When we graciously and cheerfully refuse to back down, lips get buttoned much more quickly. 🙂
Oh, also? When your family is telling your children to try to wheedle you into sending them to school, they are stepping over a very brightly drawn line. I think this particular mother needs to sit down with her family and let them know that *she* and not they, is the authority in that child’s life, and they need to stop putting words in her mouth and speak to her mother directly. How. Utterly. Wrong.
Cindy. is. smart. Do what she says. 🙂
I agree with Cindy and that’s what I was going to say 🙂 If you confidently let them know what you and your husband have decided, then I find that most people respect that. I also have found that some of our family members have been conspicuously quiet, which to me speaks volumes. But I don’t push the issue with them into a confrontation. They know we’re homeschooling and I’m sure they have their negative opinions but thankfully they’re keeping them to themselves! I’ve personally had more difficulty with friends being negative about it. I just firmly (but nicely) let them know that this is something my husband and I have decided is best for our kids. I also let them know that homeschooling is not for everyone and that is ok. I think where the negativity comes from sometimes is that people feel that your decision to homeschool your children is somehow a judgement on how they parent their children (or did parent their children, if they’re older). I find that my friends have become more supportive over time as I continue to be supportive and positive about their kids being in public school. 🙂
We moved to a new state about six months ago and have not really met any like-minded families in-part because I was on best rest for 3 of those months than recovering from a c-section. Recently a family member told me I should enrol our 14 year old into public school just for one year so he could make friends. Never mind his academics or his morality, his safety or purity, but for friends! I will never sacrifice my child on the public school! As long as we are faithful in raising our children to love and fear the Lord than what can man do? Press on! The return on the investment is far greater than what we can imagine!
Words to put on your grave stone. Caveat emptor.
About qualification, I just like to point out that the public schools in my state have a 50% drop-out rate, and produce an even higher rate of functional illiteracy. I think I can do better than that. Even if I can’t, it’s pretty clear that a teaching credential only produces a teacher who succeeds half the time AT BEST, so how does a credential equal qualification?
I homeschooled a few years back and felt like I utterly failed. Then the kids went back to public school because of the pressure I felt from family. That lasted three years and I’d had enough. I sought out Gods plan and it was to bring my kids home! We have officially finished our first year back homeschooling and it was great. We fell off track sometimes from “academics” but were constantly life learning. They are happier and closer and I wouldn’t change it! You can do it no matter what others say! Believe in Gods word and his faithfulness and HE will see you through!
I have come up against a lot of oppositon in homeschool. Esp. because I live in an area that is so spiritually shut down and there are not many of us. I also have MS and a lot of people tell me that I shouldn’t do it I need that time to myself etc.. I know the Lord has called me to homeschool my children and the results speak for themselves but I do have a hard time being assertive about it. I think I will try that and see if it helps!! I love this web site it encourages me so much!!
I struggle with my in-laws “not getting” it and trying to convince me that another option is better. In my situation, it’s more of an issue of not understanding homeschooling than not supporting the decision to do so – and since the decision to homeschool our kids was mine {my husband doesn’t have a strong opinion on the matter}, I don’t get his support {he just stays quiet} when the topic comes up.
My decision to homeschool had little to do with anything other than academics. But even with academics as the point of argument {our daughter would be B.O.R.E.D. in a standard classroom of her peers – she’s 2 years ahead in math and 4 years ahead in language/reading, and she’s only 5}, my in-laws still think that I am somehow depriving her by homeschooling her. {The biggest argument is, “Her aunt just LOVED to be around all the kids all day! She would love it, too!”}
Thankfully, my family “gets” it, as my brother and I were homeschooled in elementary and my cousins were homeschooled through 12th grade. It’s not a foreign culture to them – unlike my in-laws who have had very little expose to homeschooling {and the little exposure they’ve had isn’t necessarily “positive”}.
Once I realized that it was a “how we raised our kids” difference {as have been many other topics in our child-rearing}, I’ve tried to stick to my guns and do what I feel is best for my children, knowing that they’re only trying to “help” as best they know how. Thankfully, my husband lets me run with it and is willing to do his part to make it possible, even if he doesn’t fully “get it” either.
I’m thankful that my mom is super supportive. The family members who have not supported our choice to homeschool don’t support us in any other area (& they’re not Christians), so it wasn’t a big surprise. I know that it can be an area of struggle for new homeschoolers. Thank you for sharing your story, Ashley. I’m sure it will help many new homeschoolers! 🙂
We had very little opposition. My husbands aunt (more like a grandmother to our daughter) was not convinced at all. She came from an educational background, as did I, but let us know in small ways that public school is by far a much better choice. She passed away a few years ago and we are still homeschooling. I think she finally came around. My parents fully support us.
Moms teach their children how to walk, talk, go to the potty and so much more. They are in tune with their children more so than the classroom teacher. They want the very best for their child. If their heart is in it, then in my opinion, they are the best qualified teacher their child could have.
Opposition comes at us from all directions about more than just homeschooling. I am sure some family members don’t agree with how you dress, where you go to church, who you married… Ultimately, you are responsible only to God, so you must do what He leads you to do regardless what others think. He will make a way for you.
As a side note, I think this Welcome to Homeschooling e-book offers great tips for those getting started. My other suggestion would be to find an active homeschool support group and a homeschool co-op group. Having like-minded folks around offers encouragement.
Just my 2 cents!
Joyfully,
Jackie
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This has become my new answer to lots of things that people question me about ( family size, home schooling, adopting, moving, etc etc) “God has lead us to this so if you have an issue with it, take it up with Him.” And I smile as big as ever, because you know what? They can’t say anything more to me about the subject!! (=
Naomi,
I, like you, also have MS and have had negative comments about my ability to homeschool my daugher. One of the most common questions I get is “What if you have a relapse and can’t teach the lessons?”. Family members worry that I won’t be able to keep up with everything and my daughter will fall behind. I feel like there are so many ways to learn and not all of them involve following a lesson in a book. If I do have a relapse where I am unable to instruct daily lessons I know that God will provide my daughter with his own instruction during that time. She may learn to do more things independantly and help to care for someone (me). She may learn to take the initiative to seek out knowledge of things that interest her and end up learning things I never would have thought to teach. God will provide for our needs if this situation arises.
Emerald, your answer to this question has helped me so much. My in-laws are worried I won’t be able to “keep up” with homeschool when our 3rd babe arrives, but I know my steps are being directed by the Lord. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!