Jesus fed thousands with the loaves and the fish, and yet we doubt His ability to feed us, to provide for us.
A few months ago we found ourselves in a very temporary financial crisis. We knew that in a month or two we would be okay, but we also had to immediately face the looming bills and practical considerations such as feeding ourselves and our 7 kids.
A series of circumstances including one son’s high school graduation, another son’s driver training course, a broken van, unexpected bills, a daughter’s illness, tax bills, and more all lined up with a month in which we had no income in order to create the perfect storm.
As we knew our circumstances were temporary and there are so many who are much worse off then we are financially, we did not tell our friends or family about the stresses we were facing. Yet God knew. I could see no way to be able to get through the month, but I prayed a very brave and specific prayer for a dollar amount that I needed God to provide.
I also prayed for groceries.
One evening there was a knock on our door and there stood a woman who I had only met once. She had been to an adoption information night that I was helping at last year. She did not know any specifics of our current circumstances, and yet she had felt led to help our family. She said that she had gone to the grocery store without a list and had allowed God to choose the groceries. She knew nothing about our family’s food habits other than knowing that one of our sons is on a gluten-free diet.
She brought in bag after bag after bag after bag of blessings.
The feelings that washed over me later, when I was looking through what had been chosen for us, are difficult to describe. God, the One who knows me best had chosen my groceries for me. Seeing how He had carefully chosen everything to show just how much He loves and cares for us was overwhelming. Not one item was there without purpose. Even the quantities chosen were exactly what we needed for a particular recipe or meal.
For days, I walked around in awe as I considered how God was able to provide not just for our needs, but for our wants. And He did it in such a way that it was like He was in my kitchen saying, “I see you. I know you.”
It had been a hard year. It had been a year where we were walking in the desert. Diagnosis after diagnosis for some of our kids. Financial stress. Marriage hardships. Bad news after bad news. It was the kind of year where I had stopped asking, “What else could possibly go wrong?” because that question always got answered swiftly and not in the way I hoped for!
We were in the desert and I was looking for a glimmer of rain.
That rain that I was looking for, the hope and promise that God sees it all, was delivered to my doorstep in the form of strawberries and cans of crushed tomatoes and six cans of tuna and gluten-free pizza dough.
He knows me. He knows you.
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