My life with Chickens: The good, The bad, The Omelets

- “Boys, I may not know much,

but I know chicken poop from chicken salad.”

- Lyndon B. Johnson

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Naomi’s artwork entitled “Chicken Momma.”

I received what every woman wants for her birthday last Summer – Chickens, 35 to be exact!  Along with a coop, feeders, fencing and watering bowls.  Did my man deliver, or what?!  I had no idea what I was doing, and I’m not too terribly far from that starting point now.  However, it is what it is – an attempt at country living at it’s finest.

Here’s part of what I’ve learned about chickens:

1.)  I hate roosters.  I killed my roosters.  They’re nasty, bossy fellows and they needed to go be with Jesus.  After watching them torture the hens {and I mean gang-ups here ladies…my children were WIDE EYED, it was a little too much for our homeschool science},  I realized these dominating devils would be the perfect specimens for me to get my hands dirty in the chicken butchering business.  I haven’t butchered a chicken since, and I don’t know that I ever will again.  However, it’s one of those things I wanted to KNOW I COULD DO.  Bummer, I had no one to teach me.

As always, Google goes a long way and I Googled “How to butcher a chicken the easy way.”  Guess what, Hannah @ Cultivating Home had a blog post for that!  I read her post about 5 times and then read her post to the kids {it has great step-by-step pictures too}.  Next, we found some interesting YouTube videos on the subject and bing, bam, boom, I was ready for some rooster killing!  Now, mind you, I don’t always use all of my critical thinking skills {I am some-kind’da-special sometimes}, but per Hannah’s wonderful instructions I got my trusty baseball bat and knocked those roosters out.   What assisted my ambition, was as I chased them down in their pen, one attempted to “be not nice” to one of my hens – that gave me rekindled inspiration for the job.

So, there I was with three very large, very dead roosters on a fine Sunday afternoon last fall.  Where my critical thinking skills were lacking was I was 7 months pregnant at the time.  Believe-you-me, by the time I had chopped off their heads {and I received totally-cool-mom points for that}, soaked the roosters in boiling water, pulled off the feathers, gutted them, did homeschool science with their innards-via light of the flash light on the back on the travel trailer, chopped them up into pieces and placed them into zip lock bags, I WAS DONE. DONE, DONE, TRIPLE DONE AND HURTING THROUGHOUT MY ENTIRE BODY.  After all that excitement, rooster hating and killing I bet you wanna know…did we eat those roosters?  Nope, I was so sick of them and fed them to the cats.  That night I cried of exhaustion and slept until 9 a.m. the next day.  But, I did it and there by earned my pioneer momma badge!

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You see that big rooster in the picture?  Dead, dead, double dead.

2.) I think I love my hens, most days.  When I let them out to free range I kind of smile when I find their eggs in the flower pot beside my front door.  It’s like they’re giving me their little offering of the best they have to give.  However, these poetic rumblings end when I find their droppings on the porches, garden swing or benches. I don’t love my hens on rainy days either.  When it rains their yard is a mess, it stinks and I usually want to hurl when I go in to feed them.  However, most days when I go in to retrieve my brown offerings of wholesome goodness, I say “thanks girls,” and they look back at me with their beady little eyes and say “Why’d you kill my man, he was so good to me!”

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~ Flower pot offerings ~

3.) Who needs a garbage disposal when you have a flock on hens?!  Not me.  With chickens I never feel guilty about table scraps.  And, believe me, we fill a gallon ice cream bucket most days with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  These chickens eat e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g, and yes, they’ve even eaten chicken {sorry, nothing gets wasted in a growing family of seven}.

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HAM AND EGGS – A day’s work for a chicken;

A lifetime commitment for a pig.

I believe you’re probably begging for mercy now from this “chicken edu-buck-cation.”  That’s o.k., I’ll let you have a break {no pun intended}.  Just know that “Chicken Momma” here has more chicken stories to delight you with, so in the words of Arnold, “I’ll be back!”

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. The Cast says

    We can't have roosters in the city but even if we could, I would not want them. Plenty of small farms around to get chicks from if I need them.

  2. The Mom says

    Great Post! There are easier ways to kill your roosters LOL! I miss my chickens at my new place. Even though we are not "supposed" to have them here, the neighbors are good with it. So a chicken tractor is in my future. I sure do miss homeschooling ~ It was the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. Bar none. Blessings to you and yours!!!

  3. Jamerrill Stewart says

    Oh, I agree w/ the EASIER way too kill a rooster! If I ever need to do some rooster killing again, it will be as target practice. I would love a chicken tractor as well! We live in the country, so when my girls need a stretch I let them out to free range. They have several acres too roam; however, it’s my porches that they love – silly birds.

  4. A Queen Above Rubies says

    I know what yo mean about the idea of wanting to know if you could do it… I had the same thought with rabbits and I killed, butchered and cooked my own rabbit… I will never do it again, but now I know I can and will not. Next is a rooster. :) I enjoy your blog!

  5. says

    just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that i have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. any way i’ll be subscribing to your feed and i hope you post again soonhttp://www.simularfinanciamento.org

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