How God Brought Me Kicking and Screaming to a World Full of Blessings

I’m currently hosting a series on Letting the Lord Direct Family Size. Click here to start the series from the beginning.

Today we hear from my dear friend, Amy. She shares her sweet story on how the Lord has led her and her husband on their family journey. Be sure to follow her links at the end of this post to read the rest of her story on her site, Raising Arrows.

When I was young, I thought a large family sounded nice. I was raised an only child with half siblings old enough to be my parents. I remember feeling sort of lonely as a child, so I thought having several children of my own would be a great idea so none of my children ever felt lonely.

Letting the Lord Direct Your Family Size

At 21, I had my first child and suddenly realized this motherhood thing was hard! I quickly decided one child was enough for me. My husband convinced me to have another and throughout the entire pregnancy (in which I had hyperemesis gravidarum) I staunchly stated two children were enough for me.

But God had other plans. Plans that have brought blessings beyond measure and children I would have missed had I followed with my own plans rather than His.

I have no doubt in my mind God brought my husband and I to the place of giving over control of our family size to Him for a purpose. While I may never know this side of Heaven the full extent of that purpose, I have already seen so many amazing blessings come from letting the Lord have control I have no need to see the entire story.

I went from seeing my children as burdens to seeing them as blessings. God gave us a child who would grace our lives for 7 short months so that her life could glorify Him for years and years to come. I learned humility and selflessness and what it means to truly enjoy your family. And I learned how to stand up for Christ in a world that does not get our peculiarity.

So, while I was certain in the beginning that God had the wrong lady for something of this magnitude, I realize now it really has very little to do with me and everything to do with Him.

I am blessed beyond measure.

Raising Arrows

Amy Roberts is the homeschooling mother of 6 (soon to be 7) living children and one precious little girl who sits at the feet at Jesus. If you would like to read more of her story, you can start with Our Journey to Trusting God with Our Family Size and continue reading through the Large Family Living page on her blog, Raising Arrows. You can also read about Emily and the blessing that was her life.

Comments

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Comments

  1. says

    We had our first three children and were *considering (maybe) a fourth … when we were in a terrible car accident. Our middle child (age 4) was severely brain injured in the accident. She almost died at the scene, she almost died during her emergency surgery, and she almost died 3 days later due to the swelling in her brain. After a week had passed, her swelling had gone down enough that the doctors could tell us that she was *probably (it looked promising) going to survive. She was going to live, yes (maybe)…but what kind of life she would have they could not say. She could remain in a coma indefinitely, she could wake and stay in a vegetative state, she could wake without the ability to talk or walk — there were a myriad of ways she could “wake” — or not. One thing was for sure: She would never be the same little girl again. The damage to her brain (according to the scans and MRI’s) was too extensive for her not to be effected. I was devastated. I remember well that first week, my thoughts as I stared down at her, watching her monitors, watching her chest rise and fall from the machines that were breathing for her, and I thought to myself: What if she survives this and is mentally impaired? What if she is physically imipaired? What if the world is cruel to her? What if she is that child who all the children ignore because she makes them feel uncomfortable? My heart broke into a million pieces as I remembered my extremely social 4 year old who had just started preschool and was beginning to make friendships. Just a week ago her life was THAT…and now it was THIS. So unfair. The thought of her not having friends broke my heart. I decided right then and there that I would have at least 3 or 4 more children so that I can surround her with friends that will always be with her throughout her life. Siblings. The world maybe be cruel, but her family will always love and accept her. I wanted to protect her so badly, and this was my solution to that. Siblings!

    Of course her recovery is a very long story, but she did wake up from the coma. She could not speak, walk, or use the right side of her body. After 3 years of aggressive therapy, she learned to walk (with a limp) and talk again, but she never got the use of her right hand back. She is nineteen now. She has SIX younger brothers and sisters! Soon after her accident my husband and I decided to give God control of our family, and instead of just my plan of 3 or 4 more, He gave us SIX! What a blessing they have been, all of them…to our family, to our daughter (who is the BEST big sister!) My reasoning at first (to have more children) was for my daughter, but that changed once I saw the recovery she had made in that first year. I knew she would be okay and would make friends of her own — no real need to “create” friends for her :) So then our “reasoning” for more children was simply because we realized (after almost losing one of ours!!) how they truly are a blessing, and we wanted to surround ourselves with as many of these blessings as we could.

    I am 43 now and our “baby” just turned four years old. I will admit that right now I am struggling with letting God keep control of our fertility, as my last five pregnancies ended in miscarriage. All of these were conceived after I turned 40, and I had never had a miscarriage before that. So I’m assuming it’s my age, old and unhealthy eggs, perhaps low progesterone (although for the last 3 conceptions I was using progesterone suppositories, so I don’t know what else I could have done for those 3) I find that it was much, much easier to let God have control of our fertility while I was in my 20′s and 30′s and had NO miscarriages. But now that I’m in my 40′s and quickly approaching my mid-forties…well, it’s not so easy to “just let things happen” . I sometimes think what is the use of letting God have control of this if it’s only going to result in another loss? Does He really know what’s best for me? Are these losses BEST for me? If so, HOW? I can see one or maybe two losses, but FIVE? I “learned” a life lesson (how to deal with loss) with the first one! I didn’t need four more lessons on that! LOL I know I sound silly. Who am I to question His ways, I know. But still.

    I enjoyed your post! Thank you for sharing :)
    (sorry for such a long comment!)

    • Christy says

      Wow what a powerful testimony Katrina and what an encouraging story that both you and Amy shared. I wish other people in the world valued their children like this. I know there are so many different points of view about the whole open womb concept. I think most people miss out on the blessings they could have because they feel like they can’t provide some rich monitory life for their kids if they have “too many”. I’ve learned in the past few years that finances are really not a reason to say no to a baby. We’ve taken a $20,000 pay cut in the past few years and added three children and they are all definitely thriving! My husband and I have been through a lot of other challenges in the past few years as well- 6 years ago we began and then lost an adoption of a child we sponsored in Guatemala (things went sideways after 9 months of adoption proceedings and she was given to another family because of a breech of communication), a year and half later we welcomed our first son only to have my husband develop several frightening symptoms and get diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when our son was just 5 weeks old. My pregnancy with my 2nd son was very difficult with bleeding into the 3rd trimester and several infections. After he was born things went smooth until he was 8 months old and began experiencing eating issues. We discovered when he was 14 months the he had a malroation (similar but not as severe as Amy’s daughter, doctors delayed in correcting it waiting to see if he needed an additional procedure until finally things grew very severe and they finally operated last spring when he almost 3 years old. With my third son I had weeks of preterm labor and after much prayer and a lot of hospital trips I ended up going full term only to have him in the nicu with an infection after birth and then we found out he had apnea related to reflux. Finally this past summer my husband developed a heart condition….all this to say that God has allowed some pretty incredible challenges into our life. God carried us through it all but he called us to press into him and pursue him in a much more focused way during those challenging times. My husband and I felt like we were finally at our breaking point last fall. Our marriage and commitment to God was stronger than ever but it simply felt like in the midst of everything going on our world was going to implode. In response to our situation we both pressed into God, read our bibles & prayed daily, pulled into relationship with church leaders, we cut back on a lot of things – fun activities, extra church activities, some ministry commitments, and we even cut down on spending extended amounts of time with some family to focus our attention on ministering to our children and each other. By doing this we definitely cut out un-needed busyness but we also certainly missed out on times we could have experienced blessings. Everywhere in life blessings can be found, more than any heart could ever contain in this lifetime. Children are certainly amongst the greatest of these blessings but they are not always the only blessings that God desires to give us. My husband & I are in complete agreement that we definitely want more children but right now there are three blessings he has called us to focus on in this season. We have a peace about waiting a little longer for baby #4 and believe that He will make everything beautiful in it’s time. Personally I don’t feel a convicted that preventing a pregnancy automatically means you have a lack of faith. Ending the life of an unborn baby who is already growing is definitely wrong but for prevention is a different issue. I think there may be other ways to look at what you’ve experienced than just God teaching you some kind of a lesson. I think there are times God uses situations in our life to close a door and perhaps what you’ve experienced is God closing the door to you adding natural born children to your family maybe God still does have more for you? Maybe the next step he’s calling you to is adoption or maybe he has a something else waiting…I say “maybe” because I certainly couldn’t tell you his plan but I’m sure whatever it is his plan for you will continue to be filled with his presence, his faithfulness, & his blessing. What a precious women you are and I hope your heart will find healing from the deep losses you’ve experienced – blessings & strength to your dear sister in Christ.

  2. says

    Amy – thanks for sharing your story…and Jamerrill, thanks for having Amy on your blog. I love hearing how God works in each of our families. BTW…I’m referring a few readers to both your blogs as they are looking for ideas when you homeschool multiple kids.

  3. says

    Such a beautiful reminder. When we fall into the trap the world has set – that children are burdens….we miss out on the beauty of so many things. That doesn’t mean being a Mom is easy – just that there is joy to be found, had and enjoyed!!!

  4. Marie says

    I too have Hyperemesis G. and am in the midst of it now. It was after reading one of your posts a few months ago (or maybe a guest post) that finally pulled the nail back on my no-more-kids coffin. Although most days I am in tears and fighting ketosis and dehydration, I know this too shall pass and I will have another eternal blessing. I love my children so much and God has blessed me so richly, first with saving my soul, and then giving me a husband and family I could never have dreamed of– how can I wrest control from a God who does that for me? I can’t. So every day, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I worship him. It’s been difficult, but the bitterness that came with it in the past isn’t there. Please pray that it doesn’t come. Thank you for encouraging the idea of large families. I don’t see any example in the Bible for birth control, and I’d love to see a candid discussion/study on this topic.

    • Marie says

      Never mind that, I just found a pretty candid discussion in your “Our Journey to Trusting God with our Family Size” that is linked above. Just finished reading the 4 parts. Thank you.

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